Jumping in the Leaves

Remembering yourself in your youth…

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, youth is defined as “the time of life when someone is young : the time when a young person has not yet become an adult”. It’s coincidental that today’s one word prompt is youth, because just the other day I was thinking about my age. I’m nineteen, turning twenty in March. I am going to be a sophomore in college in eight days. I am no longer in what is considered my youth. I was talking with girls I work with who are about to be seniors in high school. I feel like that should be me! Life flies by and it’s so weird to think I am an adult. But what about me is still youthful? What was I like in my youth? What from my youth can I carry with me in life so I do not forget what being a kid was like? 

I was looking through old photo albums with my mom a couple days ago, reminiscing about playing outside with my neighbors, going to the zoo, trick or treating at Halloween,and jumping in the piles of leaves during my favorite season. I want to remember what it was like being a kid, in my youth. Yes, I still consider myself young, but I am an adult. However, as I get older, what can I cherish from my youth? I do not mean in age (although I’m sure I’ll appreciate being asked if I’m 15 when I’m 19 if it happens when I’m much older), but I mean youth, as in maturity. Being a kid, carefree, and having fun so often! I’ll always jump in the fall leaves, make super happy faces when the camera is my way, and remember my youth as I grow up.

What will you carry from your youth as you grow up? What are some of your favorite memories from your childhood?

I hope you always jump in the leaves 🙂

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An Ocean of Writing: Dive In

Why can’t I always dive in? Why do I let fear stop me? Why do I go forward with such caution that it affects my experiences?

I have never been able to dive. I love to swim, but I fear the danger of drowning or the ocean swallowing me up. I seem to have difficulty diving headfirst into anything. Sometimes, it hurts me more not to than the diving probably would. Writing is the one place where I do not fear diving headfirst; writing is me at my most fearless and courageous. I use no caution, not worrying what others think, only expressing how I feel in a way that feels right for me.

It has been so hard for me to admit that I have let fear stop me from pushing myself to do my best in everything. I am not the most adventurous, daring person. I fear climbing or walking in rocky areas; my fear of heights and falling the cracks stop me from walking on jetties or rock climbing. I do not push myself to hit the triple pirouette in dance or to take the bigger jump in horseback riding because of fear of falling, fear of losing my balance. It’s never my instructors, friends or family that say I can’t do it, it’s only me. Those around me know I am able, I just let fear stop me from going to my fullest potential.

I may have fear of some things, but I dive headfirst into my writing. When creating this blog, I had jitters and butterflies about sharing it with others. But, I did it. I felt nothing but relief and satisfaction afterword. I shared the link on Facebook, receiving nothing but good feedback from friends and family. Writing is an outlet that is genuine to me and is me at my most brave and fearless. Now, it probably sounds silly, telling you of the positive feedback from essentially diving into this blog; I might get just as much of a positive feeling from hitting the triple pirouette or taking the bigger jump when riding my horse. I get it. I shouldn’t let fear run my life. Sometimes I wish I was less cautious, more daring and willing to be fearless in other elements besides a writing setting. But, I feel confident and courageous when it comes to writing on this blog. Writing makes me happiest.

Unlike the dance or horseback riding world, my writing and blogging world is not one where I am afraid to fall, afraid to be seen as fearful or less talented than my peers. I am confident in my writing. The writing world for me is one where I am willing to accept failures, accept criticism, and accept the fact that there are people who will be more talented than me; it’s not something that would/will scare me or dishearten my efforts. I take it as a challenge to improve from the writer I am writing this blog today.

Creating this blog meant opening parts of my mind and heart to not only my friends and family who take the time to read my blog, but to strangers as well. I try and participate in The Daily Post‘s one word challenge as often as I can, allowing posts to be found by other bloggers using the same pingback, and hearing their feedback. Sometimes it’s easier, exposing part of yourself to a stranger rather than someone who knows you to be a certain way. I admire those who can dive into anything, like the water, or something that might scare them a little. I have not regretted diving into this blogging experience, and I hope to soon find the courage to dive into other activities that make me happy and help me become more than the person who writes this blog today. Until that day comes, diving into this ocean of a blogging/writing world is enough for now.

 

The Happiness Project: A Great Read

Just finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin: LOVED it. It was inspirational, proving to others that small things can make you happier without having to change your whole life, but you change it without even noticing. I am pretty happy, but it was nice to read of others way I can become happier, if they work for me. Gretchen personally discusses how she wanted to be lighter: don’t get snippy so easily. She wasn’t being carefree necessarily, but she was making less of a deal out of inconveniences. It’s admirable. I liked reading of the ways she looked at things in a different light; she observed her own behaviors and reacted in a way that made her and those around her happier. I especially loved reading this novel because she’s a writer. She discussed creating a blog and her experiences getting feedback from her readers which I was able to relate to; it makes me happy, too.

Check out her blog and read her book if you’re looking for ways to be happy/happier. It’s a great place to start, and maybe even create your own happiness project –> happiness-project.com

Would love to hear about what makes you all happy or feel carefree!

Happily,

Rachel 🙂

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Storms: Be Heard

We watch people storm away from us when they’re upset

Thunderstorms are beautiful in one respect

While their booming noise instills fear

The flashes of lightning make the skies look clear

People storm to be heard

To be noticed

Whether it’s weather

Or stamping feet of a girl named Heather

We hear it. We hear them.

Be a thunderstorm on a sunshiny day.

Let people know you are not someone they can let walk away.

Busy Summers, Back to Blogging

Hey readers/fellow bloggers…

Long time no write! Busy last month: vacation to San Diego, day trips to the beach, scooping ice cream like crazy, a concert, and a brief trip to Lake Winnipesaukee. I’ve been really happy and making the most of the summer. I can’t believe it’s already July 10th! Anyway, feels good to have some spare time to get back to blogging. I hope you all have been enjoying your summer! 🙂

I’ll be writing soon!

 

Accepting Unanswered Questions

“There are no coincidences in life. What person that wandered in and out of your life was there for some purpose, even if they caused you harm. Sometimes, it doesn’t make sense the short periods of time we get with people, or the outcomes from their choices. However, if you turn it over to God he promises that you will see the big picture in the hereafter. Nothing is too small to be a mistake.”
― Shannon L. Alder

I am one who believes that everything happens for a reason; it’s my mantra. I like the idea that people leave or come into my life because it’ll teach me something about myself and what I deserve. I am one who likes the idea that the negatives in life bring another positive, that there’s a reason beyond my control or understanding that causes things to happen. I am religious; I believe in God and that he has a plan for my life, and as Shannon Alder says, I’ll hopefully later in life see the bigger picture. My only curiosity is when ‘later in life’ or what age or time do I finally see the picture? Does God’s plan have an ending before death? Believing in God’s plan for me or that everything happens for a reason can be a security blanket; we want to believe nothing bad happens to us for no reason. I am not one who looks at events logically, like ‘this happened because this previous event caused it’. I believe that some things we are not meant to understand, and that can be troubling. I am not one who believes in coincidences; I believe people come in and out of my life or things happen because they were meant to. You’re probably wondering how I live my life without concrete answers. I just do it. Some things are hard to understand, but I do not want to spend my life searching for an answer. I have to accept things in order to move forward.

Let me know what you think. Do you believe in coincidences or that everything happens for a reason?

The Girl Who Will Never Put Down the Pen

I was about to go to bed; I have to get up early for a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. That would be denying the person that I want to continue to be: the girl who is not afraid to pick up the pen. I have been, for about the past week, trying everyday to participate in the one word The Daily’s Post challenge, the word for today being transformation. I had busy day today. I looked briefly at WordPress this morning to find what the word for today would be. I read ‘transformation’ before closing my laptop as I headed out to work. I would think about what to write. While pondering what to write inspired by the word transformation, between customers at the ice cream shop and while sitting in the dark during a power outage, I was seemingly having no luck. After going out to dinner with my parents and getting ready to read for the rest of the night, I remembered the blog post again. I opened up WordPress and hit ‘Add’ next to ‘Blog Posts,’, hoping that the blank page would somehow give me an epiphany about what to write on this fourteen letter word. (Because a blank page is what helps writer’s block. Real smart move, Rach.) This was around 9:30. I thought about it while scrolling through Facebook and chatting with my mom. I then decided, “I’ll just skip this one”. Now, at 11pm, just as I was lying in the dark of my bedroom, planning to sleep, I thought of ‘transformation’ again. Finally, it hit me. This might have been a long story for a whole lot of nothing, but take what you will.

When again thinking about what the word transformation means to me as I lie in bed this Thursday night, I thought about my goals as a writer. A while back I had written a blog post called ‘Picking Up the Pen,’ telling my story about a random day in my English class during my junior year of high school that has stuck with me. We were assigned to write in our journal at the beginning of class, and I didn’t pick up my pen; I couldn’t find the courage to share my thoughts on this extraordinary experience we call ‘life’. Since then, I have told myself that I would never stop myself from picking up the pen. I would never stop myself from sharing my thoughts. So, when again confronting the word ‘transformation,’ I thought about how I have transformed into someone who is not afraid to pick up the pen, someone who is never going to put it down. Denying myself writing this post because of temporary writer’s block or lack of ideas would be denying myself the opportunity to continue to be the girl who doesn’t put down the pen. I do not have any intentions of putting it down anytime soon.

#postaday

You are Worthy

It’s embarrassing

Wondering if he’ll ever look back at you

When you’re always staring at him

You know it too

That you’ll always be invisible to him

Just another face in the hall

Yours being the name he’ll never call

You can let it define you

Or you can just be you

Stop looking at him

Know who you are

Not the line of his jaw

He commits sins

And you deserve so much more than him

You are not embarrassing

You are worthy

Make him look at you

But don’t look back at him

It’s a Small World?

What makes us all connected? We always say we live in a small world, discovering that someone we know, knows someone else we are friends with. Why does the world seem so big, yet also so small? I feel like there is so much of the world and life that I have yet to explore, but when I finally get the chance to explore, I’ll probably have an unexpected connection. We not only connect through human connection, but how a place or activity makes us feel. We connect to it, relate to it.

I connect with my ability to write–I can write in any part of the world, explaining how  feel in a way that feels real and raw for me. I connect with horses when I ride. I connect with the music when I dance. I connect with friends who I have a mutual friend with. I connect with other blogger’s stories if I can relate it to my life.

I feel like I connect to almost everyone and everything around me in some way, yet feel like there’s so much I have yet to connect with.

Readers, what do you connect with? What do you hope to connect with in your future?

There’s no such thing as a perfect Prince Charming

Every girl looks for the smooth talking guy, the one with the charm and charisma that can sweep any girl off of her feet. Every girl wants to find Prince Charming, but that’s not real life. I’m not exactly a realist, I am the definition of a hopeless romantic. I like to believe in happily ever after, that the girl always gets the guy at the end of the book or movie. I read romance books like there’s no tomorrow. However, I don’t think there’s a perfect Prince Charming. Every girl’s Prince Charming has flaws. Every person has flaws. The guy may be smooth talking, but that does not make him void of imperfections. I guess what I’m trying to say is, there’s no such thing as a perfect person, let alone a perfect Prince Charming. They can be perfect for you, but don’t expect someone without any faults. You wouldn’t want your Prince Charming to not be with you because you weren’t the perfect Princess, would you?