Bathroom Break

Oh God, I have to pee. I should’ve peed before getting dressed for this stupid family photoshoot. I’ve never had to pee so bad in my life. Should I ask mom if I can stop posing and go quick? No, no. She’s already angry because I took too long to get ready and Anthony won’t stop crying. I wish she hadn’t yelled at me to hurry the hell up and get outside. I am not fast enough. I can’t tell mom I have to pee. I wish she hadn’t gotten mad at me last night when I asked to be excused to heat up my dinner because the mashed potatoes got cold. I shouldn’t have taken so long to come downstairs because I didn’t put my toys away earlier. I am not fast enough. If I ask to go pee now, she’ll yell at me again for taking too damn long with every damn thing. I am not fast enough. I had trouble getting these socks tucked underneath my bunched pants just below the knee. I can’t tell mom that I have to pee or that these socks are making my knees itchy because what will she tell me? I should have gotten downstairs earlier, and that way she wouldn’t have had to rush to help me before the photographer got irritated as she impatiently waited. I am not fast enough. Oh, Anthony, please shut up. Mom yelled at me for that too because I was supposed to have my brother ready in time for the photographer but I needed help changing his diaper. I am not fast enough. I hope Anthony doesn’t grow up like this, too. Maybe he won’t because he won’t have a little brother like I do. A little brother that his mother makes him take care of but can never satisfy her desire for getting things done quickly. I am not fast enough. My cheeks hurt from the grin turned grimace because Anthony still hasn’t stopped crying because he is hungry. Apparently, it was my job to also have fed Anthony. I should have known to give myself enough time to get us both dressed and ready while also leaving enough time to feed him before the photographer was ready. I am not fast enough. I am not good enough. I really should have gone pee. 


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