Accepting Unanswered Questions

“There are no coincidences in life. What person that wandered in and out of your life was there for some purpose, even if they caused you harm. Sometimes, it doesn’t make sense the short periods of time we get with people, or the outcomes from their choices. However, if you turn it over to God he promises that you will see the big picture in the hereafter. Nothing is too small to be a mistake.”
― Shannon L. Alder

I am one who believes that everything happens for a reason; it’s my mantra. I like the idea that people leave or come into my life because it’ll teach me something about myself and what I deserve. I am one who likes the idea that the negatives in life bring another positive, that there’s a reason beyond my control or understanding that causes things to happen. I am religious; I believe in God and that he has a plan for my life, and as Shannon Alder says, I’ll hopefully later in life see the bigger picture. My only curiosity is when ‘later in life’ or what age or time do I finally see the picture? Does God’s plan have an ending before death? Believing in God’s plan for me or that everything happens for a reason can be a security blanket; we want to believe nothing bad happens to us for no reason. I am not one who looks at events logically, like ‘this happened because this previous event caused it’. I believe that some things we are not meant to understand, and that can be troubling. I am not one who believes in coincidences; I believe people come in and out of my life or things happen because they were meant to. You’re probably wondering how I live my life without concrete answers. I just do it. Some things are hard to understand, but I do not want to spend my life searching for an answer. I have to accept things in order to move forward.

Let me know what you think. Do you believe in coincidences or that everything happens for a reason?

The Girl Who Will Never Put Down the Pen

I was about to go to bed; I have to get up early for a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. That would be denying the person that I want to continue to be: the girl who is not afraid to pick up the pen. I have been, for about the past week, trying everyday to participate in the one word The Daily’s Post challenge, the word for today being transformation. I had busy day today. I looked briefly at WordPress this morning to find what the word for today would be. I read ‘transformation’ before closing my laptop as I headed out to work. I would think about what to write. While pondering what to write inspired by the word transformation, between customers at the ice cream shop and while sitting in the dark during a power outage, I was seemingly having no luck. After going out to dinner with my parents and getting ready to read for the rest of the night, I remembered the blog post again. I opened up WordPress and hit ‘Add’ next to ‘Blog Posts,’, hoping that the blank page would somehow give me an epiphany about what to write on this fourteen letter word. (Because a blank page is what helps writer’s block. Real smart move, Rach.) This was around 9:30. I thought about it while scrolling through Facebook and chatting with my mom. I then decided, “I’ll just skip this one”. Now, at 11pm, just as I was lying in the dark of my bedroom, planning to sleep, I thought of ‘transformation’ again. Finally, it hit me. This might have been a long story for a whole lot of nothing, but take what you will.

When again thinking about what the word transformation means to me as I lie in bed this Thursday night, I thought about my goals as a writer. A while back I had written a blog post called ‘Picking Up the Pen,’ telling my story about a random day in my English class during my junior year of high school that has stuck with me. We were assigned to write in our journal at the beginning of class, and I didn’t pick up my pen; I couldn’t find the courage to share my thoughts on this extraordinary experience we call ‘life’. Since then, I have told myself that I would never stop myself from picking up the pen. I would never stop myself from sharing my thoughts. So, when again confronting the word ‘transformation,’ I thought about how I have transformed into someone who is not afraid to pick up the pen, someone who is never going to put it down. Denying myself writing this post because of temporary writer’s block or lack of ideas would be denying myself the opportunity to continue to be the girl who doesn’t put down the pen. I do not have any intentions of putting it down anytime soon.

#postaday

You are Worthy

It’s embarrassing

Wondering if he’ll ever look back at you

When you’re always staring at him

You know it too

That you’ll always be invisible to him

Just another face in the hall

Yours being the name he’ll never call

You can let it define you

Or you can just be you

Stop looking at him

Know who you are

Not the line of his jaw

He commits sins

And you deserve so much more than him

You are not embarrassing

You are worthy

Make him look at you

But don’t look back at him

It’s a Small World?

What makes us all connected? We always say we live in a small world, discovering that someone we know, knows someone else we are friends with. Why does the world seem so big, yet also so small? I feel like there is so much of the world and life that I have yet to explore, but when I finally get the chance to explore, I’ll probably have an unexpected connection. We not only connect through human connection, but how a place or activity makes us feel. We connect to it, relate to it.

I connect with my ability to write–I can write in any part of the world, explaining how  feel in a way that feels real and raw for me. I connect with horses when I ride. I connect with the music when I dance. I connect with friends who I have a mutual friend with. I connect with other blogger’s stories if I can relate it to my life.

I feel like I connect to almost everyone and everything around me in some way, yet feel like there’s so much I have yet to connect with.

Readers, what do you connect with? What do you hope to connect with in your future?

There’s no such thing as a perfect Prince Charming

Every girl looks for the smooth talking guy, the one with the charm and charisma that can sweep any girl off of her feet. Every girl wants to find Prince Charming, but that’s not real life. I’m not exactly a realist, I am the definition of a hopeless romantic. I like to believe in happily ever after, that the girl always gets the guy at the end of the book or movie. I read romance books like there’s no tomorrow. However, I don’t think there’s a perfect Prince Charming. Every girl’s Prince Charming has flaws. Every person has flaws. The guy may be smooth talking, but that does not make him void of imperfections. I guess what I’m trying to say is, there’s no such thing as a perfect person, let alone a perfect Prince Charming. They can be perfect for you, but don’t expect someone without any faults. You wouldn’t want your Prince Charming to not be with you because you weren’t the perfect Princess, would you?

Childhood

Her childhood was not like your typical childhood

Full of play dates

And crushes on the boys who gave her a special Valentine in class

She never knew where she stood

Having no special Valentine or a friend to play with

She thought it made her misunderstood

She always thought she had to be with friends

Thinking that being alone is embarrassing

So she hid under the slide at recess

Hoping nobody would find her in distress

Until a fellow classmate came and sat under the slide

He was also looking to hide

She thought being alone was embarrassing

Until she realized that being alone might not be so lonely after all